Can This Be The Main Cause of Human Suffering?

A major source of human distress isn’t the emotions we experience it’s the lengths we go to in order to avoid them.

We spend enormous effort trying not to feel sadness, anxiety, anger, or shame. We distract ourselves, shut down, overanalyze, or try to control our environment so we don’t have to face what’s happening inside.

The paradox is that resisting our emotions only makes them louder and more persistent. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball beneath the water: it demands constant effort, and eventually it bursts back to the surface. Avoidance traps us in a loop of fear and tension, and we lose the opportunity to understand what our feelings are actually signaling.

A more helpful approach is emotional acceptance letting feelings arise without immediately pushing them away or trying to fix them. Acceptance isn’t the same as giving up or indulging in negativity. It simply means allowing space for our internal experience, noticing what the emotion is communicating, and letting it move naturally rather than fighting it.

Once we acknowledge what we’re feeling, we’re in a better position to think clearly and consider solutions. We can ask ourselves: What’s within my control here? What small action could move me closer to my values or improve the situation?

When we pair acceptance with thoughtful problem-solving, we navigate life with more freedom and clarity. Instead of waging war against our emotions, we learn to cooperate with them and in that shift, suffering becomes an opening for growth and meaningful change.

References:
1. Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. New York: Guilford Press.

2. Campbell-Sills, L., Barlow, D. H., Brown, T. A., & Hofmann, S. G. (2006). Effects of suppression and acceptance on emotional responses of individuals with anxiety disorders. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(9), 1251–1263.